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Author: Subject: dating

True Peach





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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 06:21 PM
how young is too young? my daughter is only 10 and i'm ceratinly NOT gonna let her date nobody now. but when i started, i was 16 and had to be home at midnite. not 12:01. 12:00 period. no excuses like a wreck, sickness, stopped watches, death, nothing. if i did not come through that door at midnite i was beat like a red headed step child.(i'm actually a blonde headed step child) and it was this way til i got married. my friends couldn't even throw me no party cause i had to be home at midnite. i was just wondering if any of you with daughters older than mine could offer any advice on this for when she gets to that age. her daddy and me are "older parents", as we were 35 and 52 when she was born. that automatically makes us whirley bird parents. and because of the way i came up, i don't trust nobody. i know i got to trust that she'll do the right thing when the time comes, but i know all to good how boys are and the pressure that girls put on each other. it's a long way off i know, but like i said, i'm a whirley bird parent. any offering will be greatly appreciated.
 
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World Class Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 06:39 PM
Now 62 and 45? No disrespect, but if you don't know by now its going to be hard to give any advice. If she is 10 now you still have six good years to figure it out. Again, no disrespect intended.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 06:44 PM
if you haven't allready make your relationship with her open & honest. don't sidestep questions kids are smarter then given credit for & sense when being lied to. just try to instill all of your values into her & hope for the best. raising childre is a crap shoot, no set way works for all.
LOL

 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 06:51 PM
I plan on using this application...



APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE:This will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement, lineage history, and current medical
report from a doctor of my choosing.

NAME: _________________________ DATE OF BIRTH: ________________________
HEIGHT: ____ WEIGHT: ____ IQ: ____ GPA: _____ BOY SCOUT RANK: __________

Do you have one MALE and FEMALE parent? ____ If "NO"explain on back of
page. Number of years married? ____ Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

Do you have access to a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____
A waterbed? ____ Do you have an ear ring nose ring, or belly ring? ____
A tattoo? ____ Note: If yes to any of these questions, discontinue
application and leave premises immediatly.

In 50 words or less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you? __________
______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does the word "NO" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, give your definition of "REAL PAIN"?
______________________________________________________________________

Church you attend: _______________ How often do you attend? S,M,T,W,T,F,S

When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother
and Minister? _________________________________________________________

PLEASE FILL IN THE BLANKS

A) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would
be my: _________________________________________________________________

B) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my:
______________________________________________________________________

C) A woman's place is in the: _________________________________________

D) The only thing I hope this application dosen't ask:
______________________________________________________________________

E) When I meet a girl, The one thing I always notice first in her is her:
________________________________________________________________________

Note:If the answer in "E" involves a body part, leave the premises now,
keep your head down low and run in a serpentine fashion as fast as you
can.

F) What do you want to be if you grow up? ____________________________

I swear that all of the above information is corrrect to the best of my
knowledge under the penalty of death, bodily harm, disemberment, texture
or natural abuse.

Signature of applicant: ___________________________________
Signature of Father: ___________________________________
Signature of Mother: ___________________________________
Signature of Minister: ___________________________________
Signature of State Rep: ___________________________________


Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4-6 weeks for processing. You
will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply
again. Don't call me! I'll call you!

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 06:54 PM
LOL Pam!!!

 

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"There's only two kinds of music...The Blues and Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah"- Townes Van Zandt

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:00 PM
Nice one Pam.

 

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Woke Up This Morning, Had Them Statesboro Blues.

 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:01 PM
I got that from Skip and saved it for occasions like this.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:04 PM
Pam, let us know how well this works
 
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True Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:19 PM
quote:
if you haven't allready make your relationship with her open & honest. don't sidestep questions kids are smarter then given credit for & sense when being lied to. just try to instill all of your values into her & hope for the best. raising childre is a crap shoot, no set way works for all.
LOL
heh.. I got in trouble from the kids mom because I told the youngest that the easter bunny isn't real....

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:28 PM
tan dan, being 45 and 62 is the reason i'm asking. things are so very different now than when we were coming along. the stuff that's accepted now got you shot when i came up! she is also the only child i got, ( besides her daddy). i take no offense, it's just that i need some food for thought cause she asks me questions now about dating and what goes on when you go on a date. our relationship is as honest as i can make it. i try to answer anything she asks. i don't sugar coat nothing with her. she is much smarter than that. i try to instill in her the values that i wish i had when i was coming up. i didn't have nobody to ask and i want her to be able to come to me, but my friends tend to be a little prejudiced when it comes to her. they want to sugar coat stuff. that was also one of the reasons for posting here. to get a fresh perspective.

pam, i'm keeping that to print out for her prospective dates. i'm gonna make them fill it out from one end to the other. thank you for that.

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:31 PM
both adults raising children have to be on the same wavelength
 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 07:43 PM
plus it's part of growing up to test limits, rebel against rules & make mistakes
all generations do this

 
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World Class Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 08:38 PM
Reneed, my wife and I had children late also. I firmly think that 'the nut doesn't fall far from the tree'. A wise man once said ' as is bent the limb, so goes the tree'.

Never---Ever----give up your role as Parent. Ever. ( repeat twice) Set the rules and stand by them. Do not expect your child to be better than you if you don't show them the way. That's asking for trouble. As Kilbran wrote, 'you are the bow and they are the arrow'.

Make sure YOUR aim is good. Peach.

 

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Peach Bud



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  posted on 10/20/2005 at 10:52 PM
reneed,

First of all, take a deep breath. It will work out if you two present a loving and SET of parents. Second of all, no-one knows your kids like you do. Trust your real heart, don't clamp down, and always take time to think (teach the kids to take time to think, too.)

The key term here is "strong reassurance." Our kids always feel safer and have a better time if they are part of the conversation about what they'll be doing, but still know their boundaries.

Going with a group of folks to a movie (WITH parents along) is enough at her age - maybe too much for some kids, even if she thinks it's the end of the world. At about 14, going with small groups, but with parents transporting and checking in is pretty cool - no kid drivers...

When they're 16, they're totally mobile and just about as adventurous as the are when they first learn that they can get into things when they walk. From there, do your best to keep their values straight. Hope for the best, ask lots of questions before and after - and don't be afraid to discipline. Don't clamp down with an iron fist.

That's all my thoughts. Your mileage may vary. Some assembly required. Usual disclaimers.

P.S. If this doesn't jibe with your feelings, please throw it away. Free advice is worth twice the price and worth 10 times less. :-)

 

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    Extreme Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 04:07 AM
    As a father of a cute 11 year old girl, I face this as well.
    My first thought( about 2 minutes after she was born)was" No dating till you're 35; no sex till after I'm dead!" Of course, I realized she might speed the process up....and kill me.

    Now, however, I believe I have the most appropriate way to handle the dating scene.
    When a young man comes to date my daughter, I'll have a simple talk with him.I'll say, in my most friendly manner"You go out and have a great evening. Do whatever you want to with my daughter. Then, you'll do it with me." I figure having her name engraved on the shotgun over the fireplace in the den will add ambience to the conversation.

    In all seriousness, though-
    Ten is obviously way too young to date. But now is the time to be honest and that puts you ahead of the game. We have tried to be as straightforward with our kids as possible.
    They know we don't bulls**t them about anything, but if they aren't ready to deal with something we'll say so.
    I don't worry so much about my kids' 'morals'(so far so good),but what I want the most for them is to have and use common sense. It will keep a person out of a lot of trouble and heartache.

    Oh, and one other thing- make sure that they understand that 'cool' is highly overrated.
    Somebody trying hard to be cool will do stupid things.

     

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    They say life is what you make of it. But I can't find the assembly instructions, and there seem to be extra parts.......

     

    True Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 04:23 AM
    free advice is sometimes priceless, too. thank you all for your input. it's a scary world out there now, different times and kids don't get disciplined lilke we did when i came up. boys knew better than to try much with a girl and they sure as hell didn't try nothing with an underage girl like they do now. of coarse, where i grew up, you could throw a rock from one end to the other. we were FAR behind everywhere else. i know i'm probably giving myself an unnecessary ulcer, but i stated in another post a while back that i am a victim/survivor of abuse and i'll kill anybody that messes with her. i also stated that we are whirley bird parents, that goes to the extent that she sleeps with us. with locked windows and doors, kids are still being snatched from their homes. with her between us, she ain't going nowhere unless they kill us first. i realize that we may be going too far. some will say we need to let up, but i just can't make myself. all that being said, she is still very independent, very well mannered, is very capable of doing for herself. she is just hovered over. and a little spoiled (that's her daddy). dating, even though it's still 20 years away, scares the hell out of me.
     

    Extreme Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 11:17 AM
    Pam, that form is awesome! Going to print it out right now (my daughter is 16!).
     

    Peach Pro



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 11:42 AM
    Pam-

    My brother has something similar for his daughter. She is 12 going on 26...YIKES!!!

    Very cute.

    Ally

     

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    True Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 11:48 AM
    Some where there's this list floating around - something like "thing's you'll have to know before dating my daughter."

    My favorite was: If you pull in the driveway and honk your horn, you'd better be dropping something off, because you're certainly not picking anything up."

     

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    Zen Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 12:13 PM
    Some more reading for you...

    http://www.philipvanmunching.com/excerpt.php

     

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    Good lucks never really been a strong suit of mine, can't get a nickel for a dime...

     
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    True Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 12:21 PM
    Do you have access to a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____
    A waterbed? ____ Do you have an ear ring nose ring, or belly ring? ____
    A tattoo? ____ Note: If yes to any of these questions, discontinue
    application and leave premises immediatly.


    When I was in high school I had a 1963-1/2 Ford Econoline van. I had put carpet, curtains, round windows and a stereo system that featured a 100 watt amp and a Voice of the Theater speaker cabinet (stolen by a freind during a remodel of the Alabama Theater). I showed up to pick up a date one night, and the girls dad walked out in the driveway and started speckin' out on the van. Man! Was he ever impressed! He went on and on about how impressed he was with the paint job, the upholstery and the stereo. Then he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye and said, "you ain't goin' anywhere with my daughter in that thing."

     

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    Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
    People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

    Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

     

    Peach Master



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 12:28 PM
    Lol nice one Pam......very appropriate as baby #3 fast approaches for me.............

    Hope all is well in CT

     

    Zen Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 02:59 PM
    i dont have any children.........but i would say 10 is too young!

     

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    World Class Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 03:17 PM
    "Some where there's this list floating around - something like "thing's you'll have to know before dating my daughter."

    My favorite was: If you pull in the driveway and honk your horn, you'd better be dropping something off, because you're certainly not picking anything up."




    My favorite is from George Lopez: "If my daughter sees your penis, you're a dead man"

     

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    True Peach



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      posted on 10/21/2005 at 03:37 PM
    well I hope 10 is too young... cause my oldest will be 10 the day after thanksgiving... and she's NOT dating in 4th grade...!

     

    ____________________
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